What a night!

OK, so tonight was the Sadie Hawkins dance, and it was quite possibly the most fun I've had in thirteen months.

I went with a boy whom I will call "Will". I spent twenty minutes before the dance getting dressed etc.; one girl did my hair and another did my makeup. We were all taking pictures when "Will" showed up at the door. My fellow said no boy was taking one of her girls to a dance without coming in and getting his picture taken, so we did that, then went to the dance. We hung out for a while, but it was lame, so we went on a hayride. It was still lame, so we sat and talked, then went on another hayride. By the time we came back, our various friends were there and the music was actually halfway decent (I guess they gave up on the country/farm theme).

I managed to dance through four songs. For the fast ones, I toned down the leg motions about ninety percent, and danced on crutches. For the slow ones, "Will"'s forearms became my crutches, and we danced together. In between, I sat and rested and talked to "John".

At one point, I was sitting and resting, and suddenly all the dancing caught up to me. I felt the smile slide off my face as pain surged, and I dropped my head onto "John's" shoulder. He patted me and said, "Stay awake, Sarah."

I looked up and said, "If I were smart at all, I'd go back now."

He understood that what I wanted was confirmation that I wasn't just cheating myself of something, and said, "Go back. Don't cause yourself pain needlessly."

So "Will" and I left together. As we were walking back, I said, "Should we kiss or not?"

He responded, "I don't know."

"Well, let's sit down and talk about it." (We sat.) "If we kissed, would you wake up tomorrow feeling regretful or happy?"

"I don't know. Last time I kissed, I didn't really go to sleep."

"Would you mind kissing me?"

His look softened, and he said, "No."

So we kissed. And then we kissed again. And then we walked back to his house and kissed again. And he says he thinks we can work out in a relationship; it will just take some time.

I'm so glad I waited for my first kiss. Everybody always told me it would be gross no matter what, and I maintained that with the right person, it wouldn't be. I was right. I mean it was wet and sticky, but that was just par tof the experience.

I randomly feel like crying now, but I think I'm just tired. I will NOT start questioning the validity of this relationship; whatever it was was real at the time.