"I have read a fiery gospel writ in burnished rows of steel..."

(First off, how does one spell "fiery"? F-I-E-R-Y? F-I-R-E-Y? I think the first way is correct, but it should be the second way.)

I thought this title appropriate for sliding back into pain. I had a really great weekend physically, adn was able to visibly remind everyone why they are friends with me in the first place. My infectious joy at living came back; I felt good enough to crunch through leaf piles and shower standing up; and I had this boundless energy that needed to be expressed through (loud) song. In short, I became the person I was before pain.

But now I'm sliding back into it. It's not bad pain, yet, but I always forget the sensation when it goes away, and then I have to get used to it and learn to process/ignore it all over again. Three days makes a difference and I've grown unaccustomed to the endless burning...today was just a constant, "OwWwWw..."

Also, today was the anniversary of Kristallnacht, otherwise known as the November Pogrom, usually considered the official start of the Holocaust. We had a nic ememorial assembly (better than last year's) as a school. We listened to a dramatic reading describing the night, and I broke down crying at the section about an angry mob attacking a hospital for "crippled children".

You see, I am a "crippled child". By the Nazi standards, I am a "useless eater"; that's what they would have called me and then I woul dhave been dead. Sixty percent of my family would have been dead as soon as we arrived at the camps, if not before; three fifths of us would have stood no chance of survival.

Am I a "useless eater"? What makes a person useless?