Sunday, November 2, 2008

Dignity--A Meaningless Word?

In this post, I want to explore the word "dignity", what it means and how it applies in the life of a disabled teen.

Let me start by saying that nothing, but nothing, is too undignified if it makes my life easier. I don't just mean taking the elevator or using crutches; I mean sitting on the floor of the shower, crawling down the hall and up the stairs to do my laundry, letting people carry me.

If dignity can be equated with self-sufficience, however, then it is more dignified for me to do my laundry crawling than for me to ask someone else to do it. Problems arise when I cannot get down the hall to the bathroom, and someone offers to carry me.

Which is more dignified? Not showering? Refusing their offer and desperately trying to crawl, whimpering all the way? Or saying, "Yes, thank you; that would be so helpful!"?

"It's not fair to the other girls in the house..." So is it fair to me? Forget being fair to the person who (insisted she) carries me; is it fair that I need carrying? Fairness is definitely an obsolete term in my life.

Disabled people need some extra help. Period. If I can't get down the hall to the bathroom to shower before Shabbat, and somebody offers to carry me, I really don't have a whole lot of choice. Sometimes I wish people could be me for just one day, just so they could begin to understand. Just imagine being fifteen and needing help with just about everything: getting around, carrying things, getting food.

I am not as self-sufficient as I'd like to be, and maybe it isn't fair to the people who (offer to) help me, but it sure as heck isn't fair to the person trapped in this body. It sure as heck isn't fair to me.

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