Alone and in Pain

I really, really hate this time of day. It's the time of day after I push through as much pain as possible in an attempt to complete my physical therapy exercises. It's the time of day after I allow myself to collapse on my bed and rest. This is the time of day when I must get up and function again, and it is very hard, for though the pain has faded the memory thereof has not, and I still feel--traumatized is the wrong word--exhausted. I feel exhausted.

And I'm all alone in my room.

Rumors

So I have been made aware of the fact that rumor on campus has it that I am making up my pain.

I'm not surprised. The same rumors went around last time. I can even understand why this is happening. RND is sufficiently unusual that most people have not heard of it; it is sufficiently weird that it's hard to believe. On top of all that, it's very scary.

You see, if people admit this is real, they must also admit that it could happen to them as randomly as it happened to me. If they admit that, they realize how vulnerable they really are. If this is fake, however, than they are safe: it cannot happen to them.

Everyone prefers to feel safe. Unfortunately, that does not seem to be an option for my life.

Restarting, Unfortunately

A week and a half or so ago, I dropped a ball on my foot and the RND got really bad again. Although I am fighting hard (treadmill, PT, etc.) the pain is getting worse almost by the day. My friends are sick of hearing about it and while I cannot say that I blame them, I do need an outlet to gripe about pain. This blog will be my outlet again and hopefully prevent the RND from taking over my mental/emotional life. So, faithful readers, welcome back!