Scary Place

I was hurting so, so much earlier today...there are no words in the English language for that kind of pain, except maybe (maybe) "F*ck dammit bloody f*ckin hell", which still only expresses roughly half of it. I hurt more than I ever had before by lunchtime...and for the rest of the afternoon, every time I thought it couldn't possibly get worse, it did...and all I could do was cry (publicly) and scream (privately) and hope against hope that a new day will dawn...

I'm feeling some better now, but it's a "false" better, sort of like the eye of a hurricane...tomorrow will be really bad again...the resurgence of the storm will be worse than ever.

Pray for me tonight,

1. That tomorrow may be a better day.
2. That I may achieve wisdom and peace in my life and with my situation,
3. That no matter what comes, I will be able to face it with the strength and dignity I, God, and my friends have come to expect of me.

Today was really, really hard.

P.S. A note about "If there's anything I ca ndo for you, let me know."/"What can we do for you?": Despite appearances to the contrary, this is actually not all that helpful. This statement, usually made when I'm hurting too much to think, requires me to come up with something for you to do. Offer specifics, such as

1. Help with my backpack/laptop
2. Doing my laundry
3. Bringing me meals
4. Helping clean my room
5. Running errands
6. Hugs, hugs, hugs.

These are all things I would appreciate help with, but (except for the hugs) too abstract for me to think of when I'm in the kind of pain where you offer to help.