I just found out (late last night) that I did rather poorly on my last math test. That was partially because there were days when I was literally floating and too tired to study (those I cannot change), and partially because there were days when I was finally feeling better and didn't want to be studying when I could be having fun (those I must change).
It's kind of hard too keep it all together while you're in pain all the time.
The first things to go were my manners: I cried a lot and snapped at people. I got into therapy and fixed those.
Next to go were my relationships: I spent all my time with friends leaning on them with my pain. "John" started pulling away from me; I sensed it and asked him why; he told me, and I fixed that issue. My relationships are still up in the air: There are days in a row when I just don't have the energy to talk or interact much. But when I am feeling better, I have some pretty good friendships.
What's gone now? Now it's my homework. Now I need to pull that back together.
I wish I had the energy of a normal teen, so I wouldn't be always fixing something or grabbing at a loose end. I wish I had the energy of a normal teen, so my life weren't always falling down around my ears.
...I wish.
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