"Living on the never never / Constant as the changing weather..."

OK, so the title is totally plagerized from a song from "Blood Brothers" (the musical, not the band) but it's totally true.

Chronic pain is just as constant as the weather, just that unpredictable. Yesterday was the worst day I have ever had, ever: for no apparent reason. It was so bad I needed a nap at lunchtime, and went to bed at 6:15 and stayed there for 15 hours. There is no real reason for this, unless it's that I wasn't as careful as I should have been...Thursday morning.

Today was good footwise, but my hands are really bothering me. I had to keep taking my ring off because it hurt my hands, and typing this is causing my left hand to tingle and burn. The latest place my pain has spread to is my shoulders and/or upper arms. Like every other potentially painful area (hands, knees, ankles) they don't hurt all the time, but today brushing my hair hurt; I had issues carrying my tallis to services; and I had to stop playing "boom-snap-clap" sooner than I'd lik ebecause my shoulders felt like they were about to fall off.

But the most important part of the title is "LIVING on the never never". Life doesn't end because of a devastating diagnosis. There is always hope, even if RSD is incurable right now; there is always light; there is always happiness if you look hard enough. I've been blessed with a heart that swells with love for all of my beautiful friendships. I am happy; I am living; I am Me. That's enough. I may be very sick, but that's enough. I love my life, and I am constantly amazed at the growth and change my soul has undergone and continues to experience.