Stuck

OK, so I am stuck in the house for the evening because I feel too horrible to walk. I made popcorn for dinner, and I will sit here and eat it and try to have fun. I need to take som etime to do my homework, but other than that, I can read, color, surfthe internet, possibly knit...I have half an hour built in to call my mom...I have no reason to feel sorry for myself.

And yet on some level, I do feel sorry for myself. I hate not having control over my life. I'm a social perosn; I was looking forward to eating dinner with friends tonight. I had plans for this evening. Sure they wee just plans to sit around knitting and hang out with friends later, and eat dinner in the dining hall, but they were plans just the same and now I can't keep to them.

And I felt awful this afternoon...it's starting to ebb now but only because I'm not moving. I can't tell you whether or not I've ever felt this bad before (I'm starting to lose track), but it was pretty darn awful!

Oh, also, to clear up a misconception expressed by a couple of friends, I am not getting steadily worse every day. Each bad day is worse than th elast, but sometimes I do still have better days in between.