"Silence"

Silence.

I am silent because I am exhausted. I have slept through the night exactly once since Thursday.

Silence.

I am silent because I am in pain. "Home base" is my feet, but my face is almost as bad. I also get random pains, of varying sensations, in many parts of my body, one at a time. They come and go at random, and quite often.

Silence.

Silence,

And a whispered,

"Oh, God."

Not Good...

I HAVE NOT BEEN DOING WELL. Not. Not not not.

I hurt all night, so I'm barely sleeping. My pain has gone all the way up to an eight during physical therapy. I have random body pains as well; sometimes they stab and sometimes they burn. One today was bad enough to make me say "Ow," out loud, on a public street. It takes a lot to make me do this. As I sit typing this up, my hands are hurting. My face also hurts when I walk too much.

I am not OK.

Lots of Pain

I've been in a lot of pain for the past couple days. I don't get it. I'm doing everything I can, everything I'm supposed to do except treadmilling (once my internship starts I won't have time to go to the gym), and still I hurt so much! Last night I had a dream about being in a lot of pain and screaming, and then I awakened. I have no idea whether I had actually felt that pain or not.

Urggggghhhh....

Updates

Sorry so long between posts. I have been dealing with betrayal by someone I thought was a friend. I must be rather cryptic on the Internet but suffice to say it's been difficult.

Last week my senior class at school went to Virginia Beach and I had an excellent time! We went surfing, shopping, and banana boating. Pain was roaring in the background the entire time, and I did have to talk about it some. It interferes with my memories of fun, but I am trying to hold onto them nonetheless.

I really have been in horrible pain the last couple of weeks. I just need to say that and have it registered.

Most excitingly, I graduated high school yesterday! I am done with high school! Wow!

"Sometimes in my tears I drown, but I never let it get me down.."

My pain is getting worse. Part of the problem is that I simply haven't been able to get into the weight room after school every day due to senior class activities. Still, I think the pain was getting worse even when I was going daily.

Function is basically unimpaired--I discovered the other day that I can, in fact, run--but, and in some ways worse, my thoughts have been invaded. I feel pain; I think pain; I am pain. This has to stop. It has to. It must.

Not OK

I am not OK right now. I have been hurting a lot. I am very tired. I have been having trouble sleeping at night. I fell asleep studying this afternoon.

Life is stressful right now, wrapping up senior year. Stress feeds pain feeds stress...etc.

Not good.

Quick Update

In response to a comment from Clojio:

I'm not sure if my pain is less severe or not. I don't really think it is. I am getting used to living with it though, and other interests have captured my attention. For instance, I have an internship with the local office of my congressman this summer! Sorry for the lack of posting.