I really, really hate this time of day. It's the time of day after I push through as much pain as possible in an attempt to complete my physical therapy exercises. It's the time of day after I allow myself to collapse on my bed and rest. This is the time of day when I must get up and function again, and it is very hard, for though the pain has faded the memory thereof has not, and I still feel--traumatized is the wrong word--exhausted. I feel exhausted.
And I'm all alone in my room.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Rumors
So I have been made aware of the fact that rumor on campus has it that I am making up my pain.
I'm not surprised. The same rumors went around last time. I can even understand why this is happening. RND is sufficiently unusual that most people have not heard of it; it is sufficiently weird that it's hard to believe. On top of all that, it's very scary.
You see, if people admit this is real, they must also admit that it could happen to them as randomly as it happened to me. If they admit that, they realize how vulnerable they really are. If this is fake, however, than they are safe: it cannot happen to them.
Everyone prefers to feel safe. Unfortunately, that does not seem to be an option for my life.
I'm not surprised. The same rumors went around last time. I can even understand why this is happening. RND is sufficiently unusual that most people have not heard of it; it is sufficiently weird that it's hard to believe. On top of all that, it's very scary.
You see, if people admit this is real, they must also admit that it could happen to them as randomly as it happened to me. If they admit that, they realize how vulnerable they really are. If this is fake, however, than they are safe: it cannot happen to them.
Everyone prefers to feel safe. Unfortunately, that does not seem to be an option for my life.
Restarting, Unfortunately
A week and a half or so ago, I dropped a ball on my foot and the RND got really bad again. Although I am fighting hard (treadmill, PT, etc.) the pain is getting worse almost by the day. My friends are sick of hearing about it and while I cannot say that I blame them, I do need an outlet to gripe about pain. This blog will be my outlet again and hopefully prevent the RND from taking over my mental/emotional life. So, faithful readers, welcome back!
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Back from Philly: The End of this Blog
And so, my friends, the saga of my RND has come to a close. I am well on the road to complete recovery. I hurt less at the end of a day than I did before I left, and every day I can tolerate more and more activity before I wind up in significant pain. Over the next few weeks to months, my pain will continue to decrease and eventually disappear completely.
Before I go, I want to thank all my therapists at CHOP, especially specific people. These pictures are not censored, and real names are used, for two reasons. First of all, I was required to ask permission before taking these shots, so I have the people's consent to distribute them. Secondly, I may never see these people again, and I miss them!
First is Tia (far left), the amazing pool therapist. She is SO MUCH FUN!!! She called me "munchkin" and "vertically impaired".
Christy was one of the way cool Occupational Therapists. I ended up having "contests" with inanimate obejcts (in a nutshell, keeping score of how many times they interfered with my life vs. how often I managed to save myself) and she would join in on occasion. Christy was the one who tried, very hard, to teach me to jumprope. She is under the impresison that it is possible to teach me coordination. I give her an A++ for effort!
Next is Deb, the amazing nurse practitioner. She was one of two people who asked about my pain level every day (necessary documentation). I called her Raven because she reminded me of one, and she liked it when I patted her head. (She was Tiny!)
This is Kira...Oh. My. God. I. LOVE. HER. There are just not enough words in the English language to sufficiently praise Kira. She is sweet and caring and young and enthusiastic and passionate and interesting and interested and WONDERFUL...just a person-shaped package of Wonderful. Kira was the one who didn't understand how serious I was when I said I was going to throw up all over the floor...but once I did, she supervised the cleanup and let me go wash up in the bathroom. Then she set me back to exercising, but once I told her I hadn't eaten breakfast (too nauseaus), she took me upstairs to grab dry cereal and ginger ale, and sat with me while I ate it to make sure I was OK. Kira usually called me "Goofball", with the occasional "Lovebug" thrown in for good measure. Kira...if you're reading this...I LOVE YOU sooooo MUCH!
Last but most certainly never least: The amazing, the incredible, (the cute, because I know he owuld want me to add that in here), the one and only...Dr. David Sherry. This is a man who has found his calling and is using it to work miracles. There are not enough of those people in this world. He also really, really cares about his patients as individuals: at least 80 percent of the time I spent with him while has making rounds (when he could have just finished the doctor part and left to go do something professional) was spent discussing Judaism, cracking jokes, and trying to outsmart each other with grammar and history. He made me dance with him every day and told me stories from his childhood. He taught me what a synecdoche is, and then I discovered the correct spelling. Oh, and by the way, his beard is naturally striped. Way cool.
Before I go, I want to thank all my therapists at CHOP, especially specific people. These pictures are not censored, and real names are used, for two reasons. First of all, I was required to ask permission before taking these shots, so I have the people's consent to distribute them. Secondly, I may never see these people again, and I miss them!
First is Tia (far left), the amazing pool therapist. She is SO MUCH FUN!!! She called me "munchkin" and "vertically impaired". Christy was one of the way cool Occupational Therapists. I ended up having "contests" with inanimate obejcts (in a nutshell, keeping score of how many times they interfered with my life vs. how often I managed to save myself) and she would join in on occasion. Christy was the one who tried, very hard, to teach me to jumprope. She is under the impresison that it is possible to teach me coordination. I give her an A++ for effort!Next is Deb, the amazing nurse practitioner. She was one of two people who asked about my pain level every day (necessary documentation). I called her Raven because she reminded me of one, and she liked it when I patted her head. (She was Tiny!) This is Kira...Oh. My. God. I. LOVE. HER. There are just not enough words in the English language to sufficiently praise Kira. She is sweet and caring and young and enthusiastic and passionate and interesting and interested and WONDERFUL...just a person-shaped package of Wonderful. Kira was the one who didn't understand how serious I was when I said I was going to throw up all over the floor...but once I did, she supervised the cleanup and let me go wash up in the bathroom. Then she set me back to exercising, but once I told her I hadn't eaten breakfast (too nauseaus), she took me upstairs to grab dry cereal and ginger ale, and sat with me while I ate it to make sure I was OK. Kira usually called me "Goofball", with the occasional "Lovebug" thrown in for good measure. Kira...if you're reading this...I LOVE YOU sooooo MUCH!Last but most certainly never least: The amazing, the incredible, (the cute, because I know he owuld want me to add that in here), the one and only...Dr. David Sherry. This is a man who has found his calling and is using it to work miracles. There are not enough of those people in this world. He also really, really cares about his patients as individuals: at least 80 percent of the time I spent with him while has making rounds (when he could have just finished the doctor part and left to go do something professional) was spent discussing Judaism, cracking jokes, and trying to outsmart each other with grammar and history. He made me dance with him every day and told me stories from his childhood. He taught me what a synecdoche is, and then I discovered the correct spelling. Oh, and by the way, his beard is naturally striped. Way cool.Miscellaneous Pictures:
So now what? I have a follow-up appointment with Dr. Sherry in April, and another sometime in the summer. I may blog about both of those here. In the meantime, follow me over to my new blog: mushroomchickens.blogspot.com See you there!
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
New Project
I have decided to "put my money where my mouth is" and actively start supporting help for issues about which I care. I will pick one charity and work towards helping it--donating where I can, telling others about the issue and charity, posting about it here, etc.--for the duration of the year. If it goes well, I will pick a new one. I know I will not make a huge diffrence, but as Mother Theresa once said, "We can do no great things, only small things with great love." I support too many issues to pick a specific charity, so I will post information about, and links to, several here. Please comment and le tme know which one to pick for my project this year! I really, really want thi sto be the result of a majority vote: reflecting not just my passions, but the passions of my readers as well.
International Justice (www.ijm.org) is actively working to end the modern slave trade in all its forms. Once victims are successfully brough tto freedom, IJ works to see that they get the legal compensation to which they are entitled, as well as the means to start over again, support themselves, and live successful lives.
Equality for Adopted Children (www.equalityforadoptedchildren.org) is working to secure equal rights for children adopted by, and those born to, US citizens. Did oyu know that a child born outside the US cannot run for president? That an HIV+ child adopted by US citizens must have a special waiver to enter the country (which often adds extra weeks or months to the adoption process), while an HIV+ child born to US citizens residing outside the country does not? These are just a few of the laws EACH is working to change.
The National Marrow Donor Program (www.marrow.org) matches blood and bone marrow donors from their database to patients with life-threatening illnesses who must receive a transplant and/or transfusion in order to live. Donations fund transplant costs and research.
Heifer International (www.heifer.org) donates farm animals to needy families world-wide. These animals produce milk, eggs, wool, etc. for the family to use and/or sell, allowing them to become self-sufficient and even send their children to school! You choose the animal; Heifer chooses the country. (The cheapest is a flock of chicks, ducks, or geese for twenty dollars; most expensive is a heifer for five hundred dollars; you can also donate large things such as livestock development for ten thousand dollars, or invest in chares thereof.)
PLease take the time to comment and tell me which charity to fight for this year!
International Justice (www.ijm.org) is actively working to end the modern slave trade in all its forms. Once victims are successfully brough tto freedom, IJ works to see that they get the legal compensation to which they are entitled, as well as the means to start over again, support themselves, and live successful lives.
Equality for Adopted Children (www.equalityforadoptedchildren.org) is working to secure equal rights for children adopted by, and those born to, US citizens. Did oyu know that a child born outside the US cannot run for president? That an HIV+ child adopted by US citizens must have a special waiver to enter the country (which often adds extra weeks or months to the adoption process), while an HIV+ child born to US citizens residing outside the country does not? These are just a few of the laws EACH is working to change.
The National Marrow Donor Program (www.marrow.org) matches blood and bone marrow donors from their database to patients with life-threatening illnesses who must receive a transplant and/or transfusion in order to live. Donations fund transplant costs and research.
Heifer International (www.heifer.org) donates farm animals to needy families world-wide. These animals produce milk, eggs, wool, etc. for the family to use and/or sell, allowing them to become self-sufficient and even send their children to school! You choose the animal; Heifer chooses the country. (The cheapest is a flock of chicks, ducks, or geese for twenty dollars; most expensive is a heifer for five hundred dollars; you can also donate large things such as livestock development for ten thousand dollars, or invest in chares thereof.)
PLease take the time to comment and tell me which charity to fight for this year!
Watch the Video...Please...
http://buildingtheblocks.blogspot.com/2008/05/143000000.html
THIS is why I am passionate about adoption: international, domestic; infants, older children; healthy children, special needs: this video is why. I know there is major corruption in the adoption industry. I know international adoption in particular is often a last resort for starving mothers, and if we adopt a child with out giving back to their country to whatever capacity we are able, then on some level that child is not really ours, for we are then stealing someone else's child. I know adoptees sometimes feel out of place, adoptions are sometimes disrupted, and even in the families where adoptions are successful it takes work to build and maintain relationships. I know.
But seriously??? 143000000 orphans in the world today?
THIS is why I am passionate about adoption: international, domestic; infants, older children; healthy children, special needs: this video is why. I know there is major corruption in the adoption industry. I know international adoption in particular is often a last resort for starving mothers, and if we adopt a child with out giving back to their country to whatever capacity we are able, then on some level that child is not really ours, for we are then stealing someone else's child. I know adoptees sometimes feel out of place, adoptions are sometimes disrupted, and even in the families where adoptions are successful it takes work to build and maintain relationships. I know.
But seriously??? 143000000 orphans in the world today?
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
A Story of Triumph
Through my time at this program, I have realized that I have probably had mild RND--undaignosed, of course--for at least the last ten years. The last physical activity that I can remember not hurting is learning to skip in kindergarten. I am having to consciously reteach myself how to walk--pick up the heel, then the toe; heel, toe; heel, toe--because I have not walked "like a human" as my doctor puts it in so long.
And yet I am conquering. I really am. I've been here just over a week, and already I've undone two or three years of pain etc. My doctor has already asked me how I feel about going home sometime next week. (For the record, I told him I would be extremely nervous if he discharged me this Friday, but by next Friday I woul dprobably feel like this was redundant.) I am stronger, more fit, and more energetic than I have ever been--ever, in my life. I have these amazing ab muscles.
I do still hurt after activity, but it's less pain, lasting for less time, after more activity. I am fully functional: running, jumping, dancing with my doctor (his idea, not mine). I am unstoppable. Watch me go.
"Veni, Vidi, Vici."
And yet I am conquering. I really am. I've been here just over a week, and already I've undone two or three years of pain etc. My doctor has already asked me how I feel about going home sometime next week. (For the record, I told him I would be extremely nervous if he discharged me this Friday, but by next Friday I woul dprobably feel like this was redundant.) I am stronger, more fit, and more energetic than I have ever been--ever, in my life. I have these amazing ab muscles.
I do still hurt after activity, but it's less pain, lasting for less time, after more activity. I am fully functional: running, jumping, dancing with my doctor (his idea, not mine). I am unstoppable. Watch me go.
"Veni, Vidi, Vici."
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